So you’re Wedding Planning?
Wedding planning is no easy task! No matter how long you have to plan, how many people you invite or how big of a wedding you host, wedding planning involves a lot of planning, choices and decisions. Even so, planning my wedding was one of the most exhilarating and rewarding activities I have ever undertaken.
My Wedding Planning Experience
After a lot of research and debating the various options I set out to plan my wedding on my own, with the assistance of several talented vendors and service providers! What started as a binder full of magazine clippings and scribbles on lined paper, not to mention probably close to 50 Pinterest boards, turned into one of the most magical and fun nights of my life.
Looking back on my wedding planning experience and my wedding day, I am so happy with how my planning process went, you can read more about it here.
I felt like I was able to give it the personal touch that I wanted and retain control of my day. I think a lot of this had to do with the valuable lessons I learned along the way!
What Planning my Wedding Taught me
I could have driven myself crazy deliberating over all of the choices that had to be made, trying to please everyone and stressing over every last detail-I feel like many brides do! However, somewhere along the way I learned some important lessons that saved my sanity!
What you can Learn about Wedding Planning in this Post
If you’re a bride in the midst of wedding planning, or even a family member or friend of someone who is in the process of planning their wedding, this post will highlight some of the most important lessons I learned while planning my own wedding that I want to share with you.
My goal is to save you headaches and stress by enlightening you about some of the tips that I learned along the way, that helped to make my wedding planning process easier. They also helped me to retain great memories of both the planning process and my wedding day.
If you have ever met a stressed out bride you know how much you don’t want to turn into that person while wedding planning, but I feel for some women, something just takes over despite their best intentions. I want to help you avoid that, by sharing these valuable lessons and tips!
The 10 Lessons I Learned While Planning My Wedding!
1. Budget is important and dictates how everything else will go!Â
I listed this first because it will likely impact just about everything else that you do while wedding planning. Budget is so important to the wedding planning process. It is one of the first things you should establish, and let it guide all decisions you make thereafter.
Having a realistic working budget will keep you in check and ensure that you don’t over extend yourself. Trust me, that is something that can put a lot of stress on you and your soon-to-be spouse. Yes, you want to have an amazing wedding with everything your heart desires, but if you can’t pay for it, breaking the bank will only cause you unnecessary pressure down the line.
It can also put a damper on your relationship with your spouse or other family members, something you do not want as you approach your wedding day or afterwards.
What you can Learn from this Lesson:
Set a realistic budget early on in the planning process with some room for flexibility (perhaps a 10% incidental worked into the budget). Figure out where funds are coming from as soon as the budget is set, rather than later. Stick to this budget as much as possible!
Find out more about setting a realistic budget in part one of my wedding planning series, here.
2. The most important thing is the marriage, not the wedding!Â
Some people get so caught up in wanting things a certain way for their wedding that they forget that a wedding is about celebrating a marriage, the union of two people. After the wedding the two of you will start a life together and ultimately that should be your main driving force.
Wedding planning can make us feel that the event is what is most important, but at the end of the day you will be married and can live a very happy life if you have a very small ceremony with just the two of you and spend very little money.
The importance that is sometimes focused on having large, grand, lavish weddings that place merit on having the most stylish dress or most elaborate decor is really unnecessary when you think about it.
If it is something that you can’t afford or are just doing it for appearances, then it is not needed.
What can be learned from this lesson:
Focus on keeping the marriage at the forefront of your plans, rather than the wedding. Once you and your partner are satisfied, things will work out regardless of how many white doves you have flying around you at the ceremony.
3. You and your spouse should be the main focus of your wedding day!
Closely related to the previous lesson is that you and your husband to be should be the most significant focus on your wedding day. Yes, other people around you may have opinions, but it isn’t their wedding.
Too often we get caught up trying to please other people that we have a hard time pleasing ourselves, and make sacrifices that cause us stress or unnecessary frustration.
Always remember that it is about you and your partner and that will guide your decision making and leave you feeling satisfied that you planned the perfect wedding you both deserve.
What you can learn from this lesson:
Prioritize the wishes and desires of you and your husband-to-be. Don’t let anyone steal the focus or take control of your big day.
4. There is life after the wedding!
Something that my husband constantly reminded me when I would think about breaking our budget was that there is life after the wedding. By this he meant that even after our wedding day is done, we still needed to live our lives and have money for bills, expenses, savings and other desires.
To break the bank for one day really doesn’t make sense in the grand scheme of things, and will only make you regret aspects of your special day when you’re left paying loans or struggling to get by after the wedding day is over.
This lesson can also be applied to relationships. Going full Bridezilla on others is never okay. Try your best to remember that hurting others’ feelings and burning bridges will likely still impact you last long after the wedding day is done.
What you can learn from this lesson:
Be mindful that a wedding lasts one (or a few days), but the decisions you make can impact you for long after.
5. Learn to accept help!
Whether you are planning and doing most of the work for your wedding yourself, or have enlisted the help of a wedding planner, there are likely many people in your circle that would love to help with your big day! Family, friends and others around you are often looking for ways to contribute and take the burden off of you.
Sometimes we get so caught up in wanting things a certain way or wanting to do things ourselves that we turn down offers to help. As your wedding day approaches you will find more on your plate and may begin to feel overwhelmed. This is true especially for the few days before and day of your wedding.
Try your best to accept helpful hands and delegate to those that you trust! There is nothing wrong with admitting that we can’t do everything ourselves.
Find people in your circle who can execute tasks that you want done with ease! You will likely learn that everyone is great at something and by delegating to the right people, you will be surprise at how quickly and well things can get done, taking an immense amount of work and pressure around you.
What you can learn from this lesson:
Learn to delegate and then let go! Trust your inner circle to help you get things done.
6. DIY is your friend!
Carrying on from the previous lesson is something to be learned about clearing objectives from your task list.
You can tackle a LOT of wedding objectives on your own (or with your helpers). It will save you money and time in the long run.
There are so many tasks that can be do-it-yourself activities, even if you aren’t a do-it-yourselfer! Look for small ways that you can tackle little things on your list from, creating your own budget to printing your own invitations. I made my own bridesmaid floral rings (instead of bouquets) and knocked $1000.00 off of the budget. I also made my floral ring seating chart, pictured below.
As one example, look through all of your wedding categories and see where you and your team can possibly contribute.
What you can learn from this lesson:
Save money and stress by trying to tackle some of your wedding tasks on your own. Here’s a tip: decor, stationary and favours are often great places to start.
7. Guest list can make or break the wedding!
As we are on the topic of saving money, I found that the biggest determining factor for spending during a wedding is the guest count. The number of guests you invite impacts EVERYTHING including food, invitations, favours, rentals, etc.
By keeping the guest list under control you keep spending under control. Set your guest list early on in the wedding, and have a serious discussion with your partner about what number you feel comfortable with.
You can check out exactly how to do this in part one of my wedding planning series, available here.
The number of guests also impact the feel or vibe of your wedding. A smaller guest list makes for a more intimate wedding, whereas a larger number can encourage a party or grand event theme. Which do you feel more comfortable with?
What you can learn from this lesson:
Your guest list has implications for the cost and feel of your wedding. Do your best to choose a number you’re comfortable with.
8. Lists and spreadsheets are your friend!Â
Wedding planning involves a lot of organized planning and task completion. The best way to get this done is to create a timeline and to-do list from the beginning, and check them often (find out how to do this here).
Then create lists and keep them up-to-date for anything else that you need to keep track of, such as vendors, menus, guest lists, etc. The more you keep control of your lists the better control you will have of your day.
When I was planning my wedding I made spreadsheets and lists for just about every element. People actually began calling me Miss Spreadsheet lol.
When my wedding day arrived I felt confident handing over many of these lists to my vendors and on-the-day coordinator at the venue, knowing that all of the information they needed was right there. This helped me to be stress-free and to ensure that the day would run smoothly. My service providers were also very happy with me because they had clear instructions and did not have to call me to ask any questions on the day of!
What you can learn from this lesson:
Create spreadsheets and/or lists to keep yourself organized during your wedding planning process. Keep these up-to-date and share with relevant people.
9. Don’t sweat what you can’t control – things won’t always go as planned.Â
During wedding planning you are likely to encounter little hiccups or even big obstacles.
An example of this is when the first venue that I really wanted for my reception was unavailable for use during the entire season I wanted to get married. At first I was really disappointed, but quickly realized that there was nothing that I could do about it. So I went back to the drawing board and looked at other options.
The venue that we eventually chose worked out 10 times better and I couldn’t have been happier with how things turned out. They were able to not only host the wedding, but also to accommodate my out of town guests, and be the site for my pre and post wedding events.
Sometimes obstacles are really blessing in disguise. The sooner we learn that there are some things beyond your control and to not let it get us bummed out, the sooner we may find these blessings.
This can apply to many aspects of your planning, but the important thing to take away from this lesson is to keep a level head and not let anything get you down. Remember lesson 2 if you need to.
What you can learn from this lesson:
Everything happens for a reason, and there is always a way around an obstacle. Don’t let hurdles take away from the magic of your special day!
10. Plan, plan, plan and then let go!Â
There is only so much you can do and plan before it’s time to let go. Many bride’s become so obsessed with wedding planning that they lose sight of the focus and don’t even enjoy themselves on the wedding day.
Spend the months and weeks before your wedding planning and getting everything done. Liaise with your vendors, go to your fittings, enjoy your food tastings, and immerse yourself in all of the other important aspects that come with wedding planning. Soon you will find your planning time is over and you will miss some aspects of it.
When you reach the week before, and especially the days prior to your wedding, LET GO! Enjoy yourself, spend time with your partner and wedding guests and really just have the very best day of your life possible.
You don’t want to look back on your wedding day and remember how you were running around like a chicken with your head cut off or were stressing , crying or yelling because of a stupid detail.
What you can learn from this lesson:
At a certain point you have to let go and trust in your planning! Enjoy your wedding day. It goes by so quickly and will likely be one of the most memorable days of your life. You want to remember only good memories!
The Take Away
Wedding planning can be such a fun but stressful time in a bride’s life.
Hopefully these lessons and tips will make your wedding planning experience as stress-free and smooth as possible. Remember to enjoy yourself along the way and always keep the focus on the marriage, rather than the wedding!
If you haven’t already checked out my wedding planning series, you can read part one here. And remember, it is never too early to create your wedding registry. Create your free Amazon Wedding Registry here!
Do you have any questions? Feel free to reach out to me or leave a comment below. If you have any other tips or lessons to share with other brides-to-be, feel free to leave them in the comments.
Such great tips! Wedding planning was so much fun, but the two of us got lost in the process.
You’re so on point with this list.
I had in mind many of the lessons you mention and I think that was key to making my wedding an enjoyable day.
Yes, it’s about the marriage, not about the big (or small) event.
Yes, stick to a budget. Starting your life together in debt because of a party? No way.
And yes, do what you want instead of pleasing other people. After all, it’s your wedding!
Great tips.
All of the points that you have mentioned above are so valid. My husband and I had a very small and casual wedding celebration with some close friends, and we were happy that we did that instead of splurging on a big wedding! Like you said, there is more life after marriage, and it’s all about the marriage, not the wedding. Thanks for sharing this!
The most important thing is marriage, not the wedding! I could not agree more. I think many people lose the main focus of their wedding day, but to each their own! These are great suggestions 🙂