Let’s Talk About Sleep Routines
Does your baby have a sleep routine?
As a new parent, sleep or lack there of, can be one of the most challenging things to get used to after bringing home your baby. Your baby’s sleep patterns directly impact yours, so sleep becomes an important topic all around in every household with a new baby.
A great deal of variability exists when it comes to baby and toddler sleep. Some babies are great sleepers from the beginning, and others struggle. Both situations are common. Even the same baby can go through periods of good sleep habits, and then experience a regression the next moment. For more on sleep regressions, check out this post.
The take away is sleep isn’t linear. You as a parent you will likely have varying experiences with sleep for your baby or toddler, from the day your bring them home, well into toddlerhood and beyond.
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Sleep for you and Baby
The fact of the matter is, when your baby is not sleeping, neither are you! Lack of sleep for you both can have a profound impact on your mood, your ability to care for them and your overall quality of life.
When you have a baby who is struggling to sleep, it impacts everyone in the household, including other children and family members.
Especially during your postpartum period, and as a part of your general day-to-day self-care, sleep serves as one of the most effective ways to take care of yourself.
Lack of sleep contributes to issues with mental clarity, weight gain, stress and physical health issues, including diabetes, hypertension and heart issues.
Proper sleep is vital for your little one to grow and develop. The benefits of restorative sleep for babies and infants include improved overall health, better moods and higher ability to learn. Ultimately, the quality and length of sleep matters!
The Important of Sleep Routines
One of the most helpful tips I received regarding sleep wasn’t actually a tip related to sleep directly. It was a tip regarding setting my daughter up for good sleep by what we did beforehand.
Learning about sleep routines has been so helpful to our journey with sleep, that I wanted to share it with you.
This post isn’t about sleep training or advising you on where or how your little one should be sleeping. Instead, in this post I will share how we created a sleep routine that has helped my daughter to become a sounder, longer sleeper from her first few weeks right into toddlerhood.
Learning About Sleep Routine
Even before my daughter was born, I read about and watched videos on baby sleep. I knew that one of the areas parents seemed to struggle with most when bringing home a new baby was sleep. So I wanted to be as prepared as possible.
I made note of some of the suggestions that seemed to recur in every article, post or video that I dissected. These included swaddling your newborn, using sound machines and ensuring baby was comfortable and in a safe sleep environment.
Testing Out Our Initial Sleep Routine
When we brought Kaejah home from the hospital, we tried out some of the suggested sleep routine tips right away. We were happy that in the first few weeks she seemed to sleep fairly well, waking every few hours to eat, and then quickly drifting back to sleep after an appropriate wake time.
She even seemed to figure out day and night sleep within the first three weeks, and was soon sleeping more at nights than during the day.
This pattern continued for the next few months, with her having a fairly predictable sleep schedule and wake time routine. She would typically wake every three hours at night to eat, and fell asleep within a few minutes of nursing, dimming the lights and playing her white noise (our sleep routine at the time).
How Sleep Regressions Impacted our Sleep Routine
That all changed around 4 months of age, when she seemed to experience her first and the ‘dreaded’ four month sleep regression.
Sleep regressions are described as significant decline in sleep patterns that usually happen very suddenly. Sleep regressions typically last for a few weeks.
The important thing to remember is that sleep regressions are temporary, and typically coincide with a period of growth or development for baby. For example, a baby who is learning to sit up will often experience a regression as they work on practicing these skills. Learn more in this post.
For a baby who was previously sleeping well or had established somewhat of a predictable routine, sleep regressions can be daunting for parents. Of course, I got to reading again to figure out how I could help get her back to better sleep, but soon learned that sometimes regressions just have to be tolerated until they pass.
How Sticking to Sleep Routines Can Help
One thing that I did note after the first regression was that sticking to her sleep routine helped. By about one week into the regression, we were seeing less resistance to sleep and she was sleeping a bit longer and with less frequent wake-ups, although she wasn’t back to her original sleep.
We kept to her current sleep routine for the remainder of the sleep regression, but once it passed we made some adjustments to help encourage even better sleep habits.
From the onward, we have maintained the same sleep routine for the most part. We will sometimes make small adjustments based on her growth and development, for example changing songs or books as she gets older. However, we maintain the same sleep routine through sleep regressions, teething, illness, travel, and anything else that comes up, as much as possible, sometimes only adding a bit more soothing and love to help her feel comfortable.
What we have realized is that this predictability, more than anything, has helped our daughter to know what to expect at sleep time.
Whether she is going down for a nap or bedtime, she typically does not resist sleep and falls asleep fairly quickly. I suspect that this is because this pattern has taught her a predictable order that comes before sleep.
Adjusting Our Sleep Routine
As I mentioned above, since creating our first sleep routine we have tweaked and adjusted it based on elements that we have found that helpful to my daughter’s sleep.
There are core elements that we have kept throughout, added some based on research, and then added some others that are unique to us.
We focus on consistency, and that seems to be the trick for helping her return to sound sleep, even after regressions, illness, immunization and travel.
What to Include in a Sleep Routine
As I mentioned, there are some aspects of our sleep routine that we have maintained since the day we brought our little one home from the hospital.
Others, we have added based on the advice of other families, or things we noticed that were helpful and my daughter responded well to.
A sleep routine is unique to each family, and child. It isn’t going to be exactly the same in every household, but I do think that there are some elements that can be consistent, because research indicates that they help to soothe and relax babies and toddlers.
In this post I will share some of these popular elements, as well as some that are personal to our family.
I don’t expect you to copy our sleep routine exactly, although you can if you would like. Instead, the goal of this post is to help inspire you to create a sleep routine that works well for your child.
Benefits of a Sleep Routine
Of course, every child is different and you will still have days or weeks where sleep is off or disrupted. However, hopefully a sleep routine helps you to develop good sleep habits that can benefit your child throughout their life.
Some of the most noted benefits of establishing a sleep routine for baby include encouraging deeper and longer sleep, falling asleep faster and promoting more restorative sleep.
Sleep routines not only benefit sleep, but they reinforce the use of routines in general. Routines are especially important for babies and toddlers, as it helps them to feel secure and stable. It helps them to gain an understanding of everyday events, what is expected and promotes predictability in their day.
As a Psychotherapist, I often speak to clients about the importance of a sleep routine to help encourage deep and restful sleep. It is a part of my own self-care routine, and I encourage it for others as well.
Starting your little one early on a path that can help them to get better rest and promote the benefits of good sleep is a great gift.
Disclaimer on Sleep Routines
Remember, this post isn’t meant to tell you how to put your baby to sleep or if you should sleep train them. It’s not a guide to show you how to get your baby to sleep through the night. Although it can be incorporated into your plan for each of these goals, if you would like.
This post is meant to meet you and your baby where you are at, and help you to develop a bedtime routine for your family. Whatever sleep goal you are trying to achieve with your little one, a sleep routine can help you to establish a healthy wind down strategy after a long day, and encourage sleeping habits that will benefit them well into adulthood.
13 Tips for Creating Your Little One’s Sleep Routine
1. Personalize It!
Although there are elements that are believed to help every baby sleep better, you do not need to have the exact same sleep routine as the next family. You may follow steps in a different order or omit certain steps altogether. Your child’s sleep routine should be unique to your child, your family, culture or personal preferences.
Play around with your routine to see what order, elements and timing works best for your little one. This will also need to be adjusted as they age.
Once the core elements are maintained, periodically adjusting your sleep routine to meet your family’s needs is important.
2. Timing is Everything!
Timing is important for a sleep routine. After a long day, your little one needs time to wind down and get into a state of relaxation that will promote better sleep.
I suggest starting your naptime routine at least 15-20 minutes before your desired nap time.
If you’re still unsure about how to time your baby’s naps, be sure to check out information on wake times. Huckleberry was helpful for our first 6 months.
We typically start our bedtime routine about 30 minutes before bed, and sometimes up to 45 minutes before if it has been a particularly active day.
This timing will likely be specific to your child. Some trial and error may be necessary to find the timing that best suits your baby or toddler, and adjustments may be needed as they get older.
3. Create an Environment for Sound Sleep
As I mentioned earlier in this post, there are some research backed elements that promote better sleep for babies and toddlers. These include:
A Dark Sleep Environment
Babies sleep very well in the dark. Even the faintest light from a toy or device in their room, or sunlight creeping in through the window can negatively impact their sleep.
Create a dark sleep space by using blackout curtains, removing any sources of light and omitting nightlights.
I once read that when you hold your hand out in front of you in your baby’s room you shouldn’t be able to see it, and this has proven to be very helpful for us.
We use:
White Noise/Sound Machine
From the day our daughter came home from the hospital, I realized that noise during sleep soothed her, and this has persisted.
When she sleeps in silence she is easily startled by the slightest noise. Whereas, when she sleeps with loud white noise or rain sounds, she sleeps soundly.
Babies are used to very noisy environments from their time in the womb. They hear your voice, your heart beating, sounds from your environment and even your blood circulating in your body.
Creating a similar noisy environment for them during sleep by using a sound machine can actually be very comforting and promote better sleep.
We use:
Appropriate Temperature
The temperature in your little one’s sleeping environment makes a difference. Babies actually tend to sleep better in cooler areas.
The general suggestion is 68-72 degrees Fahrenheit or 17-22 degrees Celsius. This can be achieved by adjusting the temperature in your home or their room, or altering their sleepwear to ensure they aren’t too hot or cold for sleep.
Safe Sleep Space
This again will be unique to each family. Some families use bassinets, pack and plays, cribs or even co-sleep. Whatever option works for your family is fine.
Somewhere between 6 and 12 months (it is different depending on the source you consult), it is recommended that baby sleep in their own room, but again, this will be a personal preference unique to each family.
Just for reference, our daughter slept in her bassinet, then pack and play in our bedroom until about 10 months old. We then transitioned her to her own room in her crib.
We have maintained our sleep routine throughout, and have had fairly consistent sleep patterns.
Once we transitioned her to her crib in her room, we had markedly longer stints of sleep, with less wake-ups, likely because she was exclusively breastfed from birth, and could no longer smell my milk close by once she was in her room. She began sleeping through the night within a few weeks. Actually she did it for the first time ever once in the first week she switched to her room. She also began tossing and turning less and waking up in a better mood.
4. Choose a Wind Down Activity
Select an activity that is calming and usually puts your child in a good mood. It can be spending time with siblings, calling grandma, going for a walk, etc.
The wind down activity should not be very stimulating and should be something that they enjoy before starting to prepare for bed. We usually start our sleep routine with the wind down activity, as sort of our signal that we are about to get ready for bed.
5. Music
We have a sleep playlist; it consists of 4 songs that we play daily to prepare for sleep.
Sometimes we get through all four songs while we are preparing for bed, but we usually aim for 3, one during bath time and the other two as we dress for bed.
During nap time, we usually listen to 1 or 2, if we are bathing before the nap.
Our playlist plays while we do other activities on our sleep routine, up until it is time to read our books.
Choose soothing songs that aren’t too upbeat. Ours includes, ‘The Happy Song’ by Imogen Heap, one of my daughter’s absolute favourites.
6. Bath
A nice bath or even a wipe down can be a great way to cool them down after their day. It also is believed to promote better sleep.
My daughter has loved baths since birth. We live on an island so they days are hot, so this is definitely an element we include in our routine. We time her first bath of the day for just before nap time, and then a second one before bed.
This is also a good time for brushing teeth or using the potty for older toddlers.
7. Dress for Bed
Dressing for bed is another great signal to tell your baby that it is time for sleep. Whether you opt for pyjamas, onesie and sleep sack or whatever your preference is, ensure that you baby’s outfit is appropriate for comfortable sleep.
It is important is that your baby sleeps in a safe environment with no added covers, blankets, pillows or other props until they are at least 1 year old.
Prior to age 1, swaddles, up until the point where they can roll over, and then sleep sacks, where there arms are free to move, can be used to keep them warm, snug and safe during sleep.
We use:
8. Milk/Snack
Before your little one heads to sleep, ensure that their bellies are full, so that they can sleep well. You want them to sleep well, without waking too soon due to hunger.
This could mean the entire night, for babies who are sleeping for that period. It could also mean just a couple of hours for babies who wake to drink milk, which is very normal. Instead of nursing or milk, for older children, this could mean a pre-sleep snack.
9. Books
Before sleep is a great time to settle down for story time. Reading is such a great way to connect with your child and help to soothe them. Reading is definitely a part of our daily routine, especially at nap and bedtime. Check out this post for why reading from birth is so vital to your little one’s development!
We typically read one book before naps, and two or sometimes three at bedtime.
Choose a new book every day or rotate a few favourites throughout the week. This week, we are reading “Good Night, Sophie“, before bed.
10. Connecting and Cuddling
Take the time to cuddle, kiss, hug or connect with your baby in some other way during their sleep routines. It is a wonderful down period where they are calm and can enjoy some extra
Especially for babies going through separation anxiety, this is a great time to tell them that you love them and you will see them soon, to reassure them that this separation is only temporary.
11. Transitional Object
From one year old onwards it is safe to give your baby a transitional object, such as a blanket, a stuffed animal or small toy to sleep with. Something that they are comforted by and soothes them is recommended.
You should avoid giving them any toy that lights up or makes noise, as this can stimulate rather than soothe them. Our
lights up and plays sounds, so we ensure that we turn it off at bedtime before it goes into the crib with her.
This is helpful because if your baby wakes during the night, they may be comforted by this familiar object.
We use:
12. Into the Bed
At the end of your sleep routine, place your baby in their ‘bed’. Whether you choose to rock or feed them to sleep, or they sleep on their own, placing them down ais the final step in the sleep routine.
13. Unique Additions
Depending on your child’s needs (preferences, health, room layout) you may choose to add unique add-ons to your personalized sleep routine.
Examples of these could include a humidifier, diffuser with essential oils, specific sleepwear or a light up mobile before bed or upon wake-up.
We use:
Sample Sleep Routines
Remember, nap time can be a shortened or condensed version of your bed time routine, rather than a completely different sleep routine.
At nap time, we omit or shorten a few steps, such as only one song rather than the three we do at bedtime, to adjust for the shorter wind down time.
Final Thoughts on Sleep Routines
Remember, baby sleep isn’t linear and won’t always go as we hope or plan, but sticking to a sleep routine can become a comforting and soothing pattern in your little one’s day. It will overtime help them to form good habits. Consistency and structure are the keys!
Issues such as illness, teething, disrupted schedules and regressions may impact sleep, but providing consistency with a sleep routine can help to set the foundation for a good wind down habit.
Creating a unique sleep routine for your child is important at any age. Whether they are 6 weeks, 8 months or 2 years old, a sleep routine can help them to learn what to expect and can encourage healthy habits from early on.
I hope this post has encouraged you to create a sleep routine that works for your family, and wish you the best of luck on your journey to better sleep for you and your little one.
I Would Love to Hear from You
Do you have a favourite step in your little one’s sleep routine that you would like to share with other Mamas? We would love to hear from you!
Leave it in the comments, or contact me with any suggestions, questions or comments!
